The Pre-Surgery Appointment

Today I went back to the Specialists’ Hospital for Pre-Surgery appointment and Anesthesiologists’ fitness. I reached there around 8.30, and had to wait 3 hours for my surgeon to come. He showed up at 11’o clock asked me to get fitness first. I finished blood tests, took chest x-ray and ECG and with that result I consulted physician Dr. Balachandran. He went through all my medical history with me right then offered a BP testing procedure and found that low. I thought he is going to send me back asking me to wait for another couple of days to correct it. But he consoled me telling that BP is not that much low to send you back. We could correct this through medication so don’t worry. He is a great man, having slight face similarity with famous Bollywood director Mahesh Bhatt.

Then I met with Dr. Jayakumar. I had put together a picture file of about 5 photos of different angles of my nose that showed its weaknesses. I’ve kept many things about rhinoplasty on my mind to discuss with him. But talking about the procedures I forgot all. This is the thing which I don’t like about me. I usually fail to recall important things before reputed persons who are not so familiar with me.  It’s not like I’ve fears or I’m nervous,  it’s something like I feel the time already been over to me and I’m giving everything on God’s hand now or It’s like I’m in an another world. I think I’m not comfortable with him that’s why these problems all are coming out. He asked me do you have something to ask with me. I said yes, but now I forgot…. He smiled and said; now I’m going to office and will be back within a couple of minutes. Do you wanna think over it and ask? I said yes. He headed out to his office I sat there on that waiting couch thinking and writing the necessary things on my hand. He returned after 10 minutes and I discussed about the before and after change. He repeated the same words again. Surely you’ll look different after surgery but it won’t be like exact pointed nose. He signed the admission paper and waved see you tomorrow. I got taken up to my room(59 A)and met a nurse who had awful Malayalam I mean in a cochin slang which i tried hard to follow, made her repeat many times but she was soft didn’t screw me. I went out to reception to get the procedure for tomorrow, still not nervous in the slightest.

   

    Specialists' Room No: 59A

At night I met the anesthetist Dr. Aril and he started going through all my medical history with me. Then he described tomorrow’s procedure and wish me a best of luck then waved me bye, see you tomorrow at theatre. After a while, a duty nurse appeared with some pills which I have to consume before surgery.  I had my dinner, made some important calls to my close friends and family, swallowed the pills then arranged my bed and cuddled me to sleep.

Night Before Rhinoplasty

Less than One week to go..

Today I called the surgeon's office for my nose job, and scheduled the surgery.  After I got home, I secured the other things, so now I'm all set to have the rhinoplasty operation on February 27th. I’m starting to get bit nervous now.  Obviously, this whole surgery phenomenon is NOT something new to me but still something blocking my positive thoughts. May be its just because I didn’t know this doctor fully, I mean personally or officially apart from those results I found on net. He’s still a stranger to me. I don’t know whether I’m comfortable with him or not. He is always soft to me but my orthognathic surgeons were friendlier since I know them from past 3 years. I feel comfortable in their hands but this case is little different I guess. The doctor-patient relation is very low no almost zero here. Plus he’s also not sure about the result he could give because of this thick skin. I wish to get a visible change otherwise all my efforts to get a nice nose will go waste.  Now I’m having second thoughts too.  This surgery, is that necessary for me? My nose is very big one and each time when I see myself on mirror I feel it like an elephant. I have received many negative comments on that from childhood but still, if the doctor failed to give a major change then? Why I agreed to pay this much money if you can't even tell I had anything done.  Then I looked up before and after pictures, and I could see what he meant.  When you look at a person, you see their face as a whole, not their nose or any individual feature.  If you didn't know someone got a nose job, you might think that he or she looks different, but not know what has changed.  You only notice the difference if you know to look specifically at their nose, if that makes sense. I'm going to mention it to him when I talk to him pre-op.  Like I said, I'm just really nervous I'm going to be paying all this money and going through this brutal recovery and I won't be satisfied with the results. I also have fears that I will just hate the final product completely, and I won't be able to get my old nose back.  The rational part of me knows that is extremely unlikely, considering I chose a good surgeon with plenty of experience.

I called some people who is very close to me and told them about rhinoplasty.  I’m not going describe this to all, If anyone notices any differences and asks, I'll say I had a sinus surgery.  I just think this decision is a personal one, and I do not have to justify it to all.  And above, so far the few people I've told have all tried to convince me not to do it.  I really hate that. "Don't change the way God made you!!!!"  huff.  If that's your reasoning, does getting a nose job make me any worse than people who get braces or wax their hair? I'm doing this for me, and I'm happy about my decision.  Hopefully this post gives everyone else a little insight.

Finalizing Rhinoplasty

After my appointment with Dr. Jayakumar I ringed Dr. Oommen to discuss about Dr. Jayakumar’s advice. He listened me patiently and said, I think it is better to select Dr. Jayakumar just because I don’t think Dr. Vijayakumar is interested to do rhinoplasty.  It’s not like he has some problem with it but just because he is not sure of the result which he could give. He is not a specialized facial surgeon. Dr. Jayakumar is more senior and expert in this field so always it is better to select him.  I felt sad. I knew without a doubt that Dr. Jayakumar is above and beyond the best for rhinoplasty but Specialists’ hospital is situated at cochin, Ernakulum north is 213 kms away from the place where I’m residing. So travelling is all these distance is bit difficult for me and finally I took the decision to call off this whole twisted toxic thing which was killing softly. Contrary to this, hating my nose doesn't consume me.  I've a happy life.  But although it is less of an issue now, it is still an issue.  I still feel like my nose walks into a room first, with the rest of me following. Every time i looked in the mirror, or my reflection in the car window, i saw that awful bump, and desperately wanted it gone. I had to be brave and go through with it. My closest friends and family are supportive, because they know me and how I feel.  Other people I'm not as close with just cannot empathize.

Again I ringed Dr. Oommen to inform him about decision to call off this surgery. He seems to be so supportive, suggested Dr. Jayasekhar (Once I enquired about him, he is my friend Dr. Ajith’s friend).  He added that he’ll discuss my issue with Dr. Jayasekhar. But I found Dr. Oommen is not so happy with his work. I think he cannot guarantee about the result which Dr. Jayasekhar can give.  After this call, when I discussed this matter with my family I saw they are also not interested to select someone who’s not preferred by my doctors and they wish me to sort this anyhow. So Dr. Jayakumar will be my surgeon.  A couple of other reasons are also there why I’ve decided to go with him.

   1. He’s best, I googled him

2. Dr. Jayakumar has done more than 2000 surgeries in his career. His work divided into reconstructive and cosmetic surgery.  Reconstructive surgery occurs when there are physical defects. Like, if a baby is born with a cleft lip. Or, because of an accident, the blood flow to a particular limb is blocked. Or when a thumb gets cut off in an accident. Dr. Jayakumar loves the challenge in reconstructive surgery.  But  Dr. Jayakumar also admits he enjoys doing cosmetic surgery.

3. Dr. Jayakumar has trained in the Chang Gung Memorial hospital at Taiwan, which is regarded as one of the best plastic surgery centres in the world.

4. Testimonials from past patients who have said how comfortable they felt with both Dr. Jayakumar and the staff.

With Specialists’ SPECIALIST

Today I met with Dr. Jayakumar at Specialists Hospital. I reached there morning around 9.30 and my appointment fixed at 10.30.  I'm both nervous and excited about the surgery.  I'm not nervous about the actual surgery, but I'm nervous about not being happy with my results, and his opinion about my thick skin phenomena.  I wish I spoke up more at my consultation after the doctor asked me what I should do.  While I went in there today with high hopes for a major change, the surgeon immediately asked, what all you want be done?  I want you to get what you want," which I appreciated because I was totally mad at that time, forgot things all behind which I kept in my mind all these ways to ask or to discuss with him and was ready to just blindly agree with the surgeon, assuming he knew best. His question encouraged me to speak up and tell the surgeon about my dislike of my nostrils and bump. Dr. Jayakumar ad almost the same opinion of Dr. Vijayakumar's but he assured me that the surgery can be done but the results will not satisfy all the demands of mine since the skin is considerably thick.  However the final results will be far far better than how I look now MMMmmmm what should I do now I thought. Then I mentioned about Dr. Jimmy Thomas’s opinion regarding my nose job. He all replied in a sudden, according to me it’s not a simple case… It’s a major surgery through a general anesthesia and he mentioned the cost of that and continued see, I’m a tutor of Rhinoplasty, I know well, it will take 4 to 5 hours to fix that up. I felt sad, for a second I thought he got angry though his voice was soft. I just lifted my face up, looked onto his eyes. Very peaceful eyes and those eyes don’t have any signs of anger in it. I said I didn’t say that you should do that in a simple manner or what like I mentioned but was wondering whether and why Dr. Jimmy Thomas had this kinda opinion about this nose job, for which he smiled and said either i. He smiled for the first time. He looks cute when he smiles and majestic when not.  He got a nice nose too, I wish to get a nose like the one he has.  

We ended up settling on just shaving down the bump and straightening the nose.  He also said the tip of the nose would come up just a little bit.  Not like a pig nose, but just so it's not down-turned anymore.  I think I made a good decision there. He asked me to think over it again and again and take a decision.